A Secret and a Lie
by Ireni L'Elffe de la Glace
Summary: Needing to infiltrate the Hidden Leaf, Kabuto decides to take the appearance of a young Kunoichi we all know as Ino Yamanaka. But the thing he wasnt counting on was falling in love... KABUTO X CHOJI, AS CRACK AS CRACK CAN BE! HAHAHAAHHAAH XD


_Chapter One_

_Ever since I was small, I was never really my own person…_

_ But maybe I can change that…_

* * *

Kabuto looked up at the sky. The leaves in the trees fluttered down and littered the ground, showing signs of coming fall. The sun was faltering slightly, it being a few hours past noon. A light breeze blew across the white-haired man's face, but it didn't cool him down much. Even with autumn approaching, the temperatures were still unpleasantly high.

Destination: The Hidden Leaf Village.

Purpose: To try and find useful information, or a spy. But that was best-case-scenario. For all their faults, most people in the Leaf would rather die than betray their village. But of course, there were a few in every crowd…

Kabuto sighed. He much preferred walking to running, which was a bit of a setback in the fast-paced world of ninja. Of course, he would run if he needed to, but his overall preference was a slow pace.

And despite his dawdling, Konoha wasn't far off now. Maybe half a mile left to go, and he would be there.

Now the question was of a disguise…

He could always pick off a stray Genin on the outskirts of the village, but Genin don't tend to have very good resurces. However, he didn't want to set up _too _much of a fight…so maybe a chunin would be the way to go.

Yes. A chunin. A Kunoichi.

After all, females tended to be more unpredictable in behavior overall, so it might be better to take a girls body.

And as Kabuto finished his thought process, as if on cue, a young, blonde Chunin Kunoichi sprung across his line of vision not twenty meters away. He began to follow, feeling all-too-confident. Yes, she would be perfect.

Soon, he had closed in on her. She finally sensed another presence and whirled around, eyes wide in surprise and rage.

"What are you doing here! Who are you?" she cried angrily. A piece of light blond hair covered her left eye, and her purple outfit was ruffled by the wind. Kabuto moved closer, then disappeared.

"W-what..?" the girl murmured. Then she was out. Kabuto stood behind her, and pulled his needle from her shoulder.

"That should calm you down, sweetie…" he chuckled, picking up her light body and taking it to hide away. He would only need her form for 48 hours at most, and the medicine would keep her nice and unconscious for that long.

There was a secure cave nearby, and Kabuto laid her body down against the wall. He wasn't all-too concerned with her comfort, but he didn't want to put her in a position that might injure her, in case she was brought back to consciousness to soon. That would ruin everything.

So the white-haired man finished his business with the body, and quickly transformed. He felt himself shrink down in both height and weight and his hair fell down over one of his eyes. His outfit was now tighter, and his glasses were gone.

Kabuto was now Ino Yamanaka.

* * *

"Ino?" Shikamaru and Choji scoured the trees. Ino had fallen behind them a few hours earlier, and now they were worried that something had happened to their teammate. After all, she usually didn't let herself fall behind at _all, _let alone for hours.

"Shikamaru, what if she got kidnapped?" Choji fretted. He had a bag of chips in his hand, and was munching them nervously.

The lazy genius sighed, rubbing the back of his head, "then I feel bad for the kidnappers…" he let out a long yawn, "this is such a drag, I'm sure she's okay, let's just head back…"

Choji sighed, looking behind him again, "but what if she's stuck under something? When she gets out and comes to find us, she'll…well…_destroy _us…"

Shikamaru shrugged, bored, and began to walk in the direction of the village, "you can keep looking if you want, but I'm beyond exhausted…"

As much as Choji wanted to stop looking and head back, he decided not to. After all, he did care about his blonde companion, even if she was mean at times. She was the only girl that ever really talked to him…

"_Innooo?" _he called again, turning left and beginning to walk again. He kept calling for a good ten more minutes, when suddenly a flash of purple and blonde flew from the trees and landed right in front of him. And there stood Ino, in all her glory.

She had a small smile on her face, and her golden hair was perfectly neat as usual.

"Choji!" she said happily, leaning forward to hug her friend, "you kept looking for me? That's so sweet of you!"

Choji's face was red. Had Ino just…hugged him? Something was going on, there was no way any girl would hug _him _of their own free will.

"Y-yeah…are you okay?" He stuttered, "where were you?"

Ino frowned, her face growing serious, "I got tired of running, so I decided to slow down and walk. See, I didn't get _any _sleep last night." She was just droning on now, and Choji wasn't listening. All he noticed was Ino's smile. It was…beautiful. She didn't smile very often…or maybe she did, just not at him. The thought made him upset, and he took another handful of chips and shoved them in his mouth.

* * *

_This is brilliant…_Kabuto snickered to himself. _The chubby boy is completely head-over-heals for this girl…_

In Ino's body, the medic drawled about everything that he had scoured from the girls memory before departing. He had a very good understanding of her personal life and attitude, and though he was breaking it very much at the moment, all he could think of was how gullible the "Choji" boy was.

"Ino, you…" Choji said. His face looked tired, and he wouldn't stop shoving chips in his mouth, "you're acting really weird today…"

Kabuto let out a high, feminine laugh, "weird? Don't be stupid!" _Yes, make sure to throw in insults, that is one of the girls trademarks…_

Choji shrugged, and kept eating. Kabuto eyes the food, frowning. He was definitely hungry…he hadn't eaten in quite a while now.

"Hey Choji, can I have a couple chips?" He asked pleasantly. Choji made a face of disbelief, and greedily pulled the snacks away.

"_Myyyy _food!" He hissed. Kabuto smirked inwardly at the sudden dramatic change in personality, and all just because of food. So that was what drove this boy…

_Well then, let's just see which he prefers…_

Kabuto pouted slightly, batting his eyelashes at Choji. He let his eyes grow wide and his slender build drool slightly. "Please Choji-kun? I haven't had anything to eat in hours, I'm _starving!" _He bit his lip slightly, looking at the ground sadly.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kabuto saw Choji's mouth drop a little. He lowered the bag away from his face, but wasn't offering the contents out just yet. He needed another push.

And so Kabuto took a step forward, grabbed the Akamich's shoulders and pulled him in close.

As their lips met, warmth flooded between the two and bonded them together. It was soft and comforting, and it lasted much longer than intended. And it was at that moment that Kabuto realized in a sudden burst of horror that this was actually his first kiss. And it was so much better than he could have hoped…

* * *

Choji had been thinking for some time that Ino was being strange. She was smiling, laughing, acting like a normal human being, and actually wanted some of his food (though that was definitely crossing the line with him, and he blatantly refused.

Then it happened.

She kissed him.

At first, he didn't understand what was going on. How a female could stand to touch her lips against his. What was…

…Happening…?

After six seconds, the bag of chips fell from his tight, gluttonous grip and hit the ground, scattering the contents all over the place. His heart stopped at the contact.

It was beyond bliss.

She pulled back and blushed, looking as shocked as he felt. She stuttered as she talked, mumbling, "I've been wanting to do that for a long time…"

Choji couldn't move. He didn't understand what had happened, and he didn't know how to respond.

He'd been kissed…

So the Akamichi boy simply bend down, picked up the bag of chips off the ground, handed them to Ino, turned, and ran back to Konoha.

* * *

*****Oh man...what have I done XDDDDDDDDDD

so before i get a bunch of "WHAT THE HOLY HECK DID I JUST READ"'s...I am laughing my butt off at this XD I find really random crack pairings like this trying to be serious HILARIOUS! I mean SERIOUSLY? KABUTO AND CHOJI? HAHAHAH THATS LIKE...LIKE...SAKKON AND MOEGI (hey, that might just be my next random crack pairing :D) XDDDDD JUST TOTALLY RANDOM

So yeah, for fun Im gonna go some VERY random crack pairings, literally I will CHECK to see if people have done them before. And if not :D

Oh man, but this XD this was brilliant to write XD i am soooo hoping somebody is gonna read this, cuz im so proud of this pile of crap XD


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